Moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work, since modern communications put him or her into daily competition with nothing but world's champions.-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., novelist (1922-2007)
Media makes the champions in all arenas easily accessible. Chrissy Wellington, Martha Stewart, Anne Marie Slaughter, I measure myself to all and find myself short.
Against whom do you measure yourself?
I compare myself to my close cousins and girlfriends. (One BFF in particular also follows this blog.) I am constantly in awe of these women, their advanced degrees, their sucessful careers, their beautiful homes and loving families, and their energy, and I just feel inadequate. Especially when I get a handmade card or something from a working PhD/pharm with a child, while my childless, pet-free self can't even remember to call my brother on his birthday.
ReplyDeleteThen I remember (and hope that it's true) that people generally travel in like-minded-and-abled packs. . . . and I hope like hell I'm close with this group b/c I fit in (and not out of their pity : )
Everyone. Its validation I think, for me at least. I compare myself to the classmates who made fun of me in grade school. Have I accomplished more than they expected of me, did I accomplish more than they did? I compare myself to coworkers to make sure I'm on par. Every task I do, I secretly need to know if it took me way more time then someone else with the same amount of experience and if i did it well enough. I compare myself to my lover's ex-girlfriends or women that I think are attractive and look at my short comings. Of course most of these thoughts are internal. Time has taught me that only confidence gets respect though, not a self deprivating attitude or self doubt. Therefore I am cautious of how I compare and try to be discrete, no one, especially a male wants to 'console' or 'validate' a woman's feelings in the workplace, it only loses their confidence in you. And no man likes to hear his girlfriend keep telling him she's not attractive, at least thats what mine says:). I think 'men don't understand it' and find it to be weakness but I, however, find that it motivates me. I want to be better, I want to have goals that are too high because 'I can do anything I put my mind to'. I may fall short daily but I always wake up wanting to accomplish more than yesterday. Failure is good because it shows our character, how do we handle it. Perseverence is my result.
ReplyDeleteChanelle, I love what you're doing. It's motivating:) Hopefully my reply didn't make us "all dumber for having listened"(Billy Madison).
Jen King
I was thinking about it, I think I would be just fine if I didn't fail everyday. I think I would be perfectly happy...
ReplyDeleteJen King
I measure myself against J.D. Hogg- aka Boss Hogg. He's a villainous glutton that always wears white suits, cowboy hats and smokes cigars. He drives a 1970 convertible Cadillac Deville that rocks a bull hornament. A BULL HORN-A-MENT people! Need I say more??
ReplyDeleteBy age 7 I was ruined. I knew I would never grow up to be as cool as Boss Hogg. And don't even get me started on the Duke boys. I'm insecure enough as it is.
I grappled with my failure daily. It was unbearable at times. Just when I was almost "at peace" with my failure, along came Magnum PI. A little piece of me died that day....and I still can't grow a mustache!
Failure IS an option. Graciously embrace it and move on or live forever in the shadows of bull hornaments and PI staches.
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